Facing Death

One of the central characters in the novel “Snow Falling on Cedars” by David Guterson, is a young Japanese American girl by the name of Hatsue. Hatsue lives in two worlds, the modern world of 20th Century America and the ancient world of her traditional Japanese roots. She learns of her Japanese roots through an elder in her community, Mrs. Shigemura. I was struck by this particular exchange…

“Mrs. Shigemura taught her to seek union with the greater life and to imagine herself as a leaf on a great tree. The prospect of death in the autumn, she said, was irrelevant next to its happy recognition of its participation in the life of the tree itself. In America, she said, there was a fear of death; here life was separate from being. A Japanese, on the other hand, must see that life embraces death, and when she sees the truth of this, she will gain tranquility.”
David Guterson “Snow Falling on Cedars”

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Death is a difficult thing to face and talk about.  We often want to avoid thinking or talking about it in order to stay focused on the positive. But my experience has been that thoughts and questions about death inevitably emerge in the wake of a life-threatening diagnosis. Thus, it can be healthy, helpful, and indeed "positive" to reflect on death from time to time rather than leave it as an unnamed fear in the back of the mind.

In my experience as a pastor I have had the humble blessing of being with dying people and their loved ones on well over 200 occasions as I accompanied them through the final days and "celebrated life" in various memorial formats.  I remember each person well.  Their names are written in my journals and the witness of their "living and dying" informs my understandings of "life and death". 

In many instances I have found that the level of anguish and grief surrounding death is very much lessened as folks make their peace with it along the way.  One of the strange blessings of cancer is that it does allow for time for people to move through stages, to adjust to,  and to prepare for death.  This often means that important things can be said and done which can make this stage of life a rich blessing for both the person dying and their special friends and family.

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In many respects living with cancer ultimately means facing the reality of our mortality.  For me, this process began very shortly after my diagnosis in August 2004. My surgeon was fairly certain of the advanced staging of my cancer and he shared all of the information with me in an honest and caring way. I have a vivid memory of a long and tearful night in the hospital listening to Simon and Garfunkel on the headphones and adjusting to the news of my cancer. It was fairly clear to me that death was a possibility. Not a possibility I wanted to pursue, but one that I needed to face.

Facing death remains an ongoing theme in my cancer journey and it weaves like a golden thread in and out of my journal as it does my consciousness. My challenge has been to face death in a life-giving way that helps me to overcome my fear and that truly brings "tranquility".

Death… I wouldn’t want to dwell on it… but I wouldn’t want to ignore it either!

Deep peace of the Autumn Forest to you…  Rob

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“There is no cure for birth and death,
save to enjoy the interval.”

George Santayana (1863 - 1952)

originally posted June 2007