A Cancer Journey

My previous work in this journal was done over two years ago and may not be familiar to newcomers here, or remembered by those who walked the way with me at that time.  From time-to-time I will be revisiting some of the posts from that earlier period, and refreshing, revising, and reposting them now.  They will be kind of like re-runs of favorite episodes!  Here's one that reflects on cancer as "journey"...

Of the various metaphors that are used to speak of the experience of cancer I tend to relate best to the image of “journey”. Life as journey, road trip, pilgrimage, or quest has been a larger theme in my life and cancer, as a piece of that journey, fits nicely.

My own life has really been a veritable odyssey with varied stages and way-points, from it’s beginning in Fayetteville, Arkansas; through a childhood in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan and adolescence in Calgary; with educational sojourns in Fredericton, NB and Castelgar, BC; finding lifelong love while on a cross Canada Christmas expedition; a 12 year tour of forestry work on Haida Gwai and throughout NW British Columbia; a passage by sea to the coastal Tsimshian village of Port Simpson and the beginning of a life of ministry; another stage in the beautiful northcoast town of Prince Rupert; and finally (so far) an urban adventure in the downtown heart of Vancouver.

Along the way there have been experiences as varied as the geography I’ve traversed, mountaintop highs, valley lows, ocean storms, prairie calms and everything in-between. I have found myself often in unfamiliar and uncharted territories and at times I’ve been lost. I have found companions on the way who have both guided and challenged me. I have been a son and a brother, a husband and a father, a forester and a minister. In ways that are both great and small I have both failed and succeeded in all of these roles. So it is with the journey of life.

I am particularly drawn to the language and theme of "pilgrimage" to speak of the experience of this journey.
pil·grim·age pílgrimij n. from L. peregrinatio
1. religious journey: a journey to a holy place, undertaken for religious reasons
2. trip to special place: a journey to a place with special significance

My friend Donald Grayston, himself an avid pilgrim, defines pilgrimage as  "a journey to a sacred place, in the expectation of transformation."

Cancer is most definitely NOT a path of ones choosing.  This is true of many of the classic quests in which the traveller is set upon a difficult road by way of circumstances beyond their choosing.  How the road is walked is, however, a matter of much choice.   In the pilgrimage of cancer the "sacred place" that we seek is a place of healing and well-being, a place of equanimity and peace.  And while the path may not be taken with the "expectation of transformation", such transformation often does take place, in ways that are perhaps subtle yet significant.

My experience of cancer has been a journey of varied terrain. Surgery and chemo are difficult roads. But there are grace-filled moments of rest and renewal along the way and companions to share the journey with. I have no idea where, when, or how this journey will end. We seldom know these things. In spite of all the recent set-backs, I do still have a vision of life beyond cancer and hopes for the future. But for the moment it's a matter of living through this stage, finding rest in the holy moments that are offered, and enjoying the company and the scenery as much as possible.

Safe travels… Rob; in Vancouver

“Be good, keep your feet dry,
your eyes open, your heart at peace
and your soul in the joy of Christ.”
Thomas Merton