Friday Update

Chemo
I received my second dose of Erbitux on Wednesday.  The Irinotecan was dropped due to the severity of the side-effects.  It may be tried again later.  We will see.   As of today I am feeling fairly good so hope that this regime will be tolerable.  I do have the "Erbitux rash", an acne-like rash, on the chest, shoulders, back, face and scalp.  It itches and is a little unsightly but is otherwise managed well with lotion and antibiotics.  Moderate fatigue.

Christmas 2009
The Christmas boxes came up from storage last weekend so it is beginning to look a lot like Christmas around the condo.  Robyn will be home for Christmas, Brandon will be visiting, and my sister Beth and her friend Colin will be joining us from New Brunswick for New Years!  Yeah!  I'm already filled with the Christmas spirit! 

Pollock Family Christmas Blog
Last year I started a "Christmas Blog" in lieu of Christmas cards (which I always found too difficult to fit in with the busy Advent/Christmas church scene).  It was a lot of fun so I invite you to visit there from time-to-time during the season.  Pollock Family Christmas

Be well... Rob; in Vancouver

"The message of Christmas is that the visible material world is bound to the invisible spiritual world."

Author Unknown

Here Comes Santa Claus

Choices in Healing

Michael Lerner is the author of “Choices in Healing: Integrating the Best of Conventional and Complementary Approaches to Cancer” (availble to read online). He's one of our leading thinkers when it comes to integrated cancer treatment. Here's what he would do if he faced a cancer diagnosis, in his own words…

• “I would give careful thought to choosing a mainstream oncologist. I wouldn’t need someone with wonderful empathic skills--I’m fortunate to have other people in my life who provide that. But I would want a doctor who was basically kind, and on top of the medical literature regarding my disease. I would look for a doctor who was willing to take the time to answer my questions, and who supported my commitment to be deeply involved in my treatment decisions, and my commitment to complementary therapies. Finally, I would want a doctor who would stick with me medically and emotionally if recovery were not possible and I faced death.
• I would use mainstream therapies that offered a real chance for recovery, but I would probably not use experimental therapies or therapies with a low probability of success that were highly toxic or compromised my capacity to live and, if it came to that, die as I chose.
• I would use complementary therapies. I would look for a good support group and a psychotherapist experienced in working with people with cancer. I’ve been a vegetarian for many years, but I would look for ways to enhance my nutrition. I would meditate and practice yoga more often, and spend more time in Nature, taking walks in the woods, by the ocean, and in the mountains.
• I would definitely use traditional Chinese medicine, both herbs and acupuncture.
• I would strive for life, for recovery, with every possible tool and resource I could find. But if recovery were not possible, I would also work to face death in a way that deepened my growth and led to some resolution of my life and relationships.
• I would pay a great deal of attention to the inner healing process that I hope a cancer diagnosis would trigger in me. I would give careful thought to the meaning of my life, what I had to let go of, and what I wanted to keep.
• I would spend time with the people I value, and with books, writing, music, and my own vision of God. I would do everything I could do that I didn’t want to leave undone. I would not waste time with old obligations, though I would try to extricate myself from them decently.
• I would try to live my own life my own way. I would try to accept the pain and sorrow inherent in my situation, but I would also look searchingly for the beauty, wisdom, and joy."

Well said Michael!!

TTFN... Rob; in Vancouver

"Everyone has a doctor in him or her; we just have to help it in its work. The natural healing force within each one of us is the greatest force in getting well. Our food should be our medicine. Our medicine should be our food."

Hippocrates

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Michael Lerner on Healing

On Suffering

Life is “dukkha”! Life is suffering! Herein lies the first noble truth in the Buddhist worldview. To live is to experience some manner of suffering.

Most of the world’s great philosophical and religious traditions attempt to deal with the reality of suffering and the many questions it raises. What causes suffering? How can we make sense of it? How do we overcome it, transcend it, or at least live with grace in the face of it?

“What is the noble truth of suffering? Birth is suffering, aging is suffering and sorrow and lamentation, pain, grief and despair are suffering.” Buddha

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Suffering has many faces; physical pain, illness, cancer, aging, and death; the individual or collective experience of violence, oppression, social injustice and inequality; stress and conflict in relationships, grief at the loss of a loved one, and anguish in parenting; unfulfilled dreams and expectations. Take your pick. The experience of some form of suffering in our lives is inescapable, try as we might to avoid it.

Franciscan priest and teacher, Richard Rohr, has said that one of the common denominators in all human suffering is the experience that we are powerless; we have been overwhelmed by circumstances and events beyond our power to control. The ancient psalms of lament often expressed this with words like... “I sink in deep mire where there is no foothold. I have come into deep waters, and the flood sweeps over me…”

One of the other thoughts that Richard shares about pain and suffering is… “In many ways, spirituality is about what we do with our pain. And the truth is, if we don't transform it, we will transmit it.” What Richard speaks of, and what we’ve all seen on many occasions, is the unresolved grief and pain of an individual, or of a group, transmitted through acts of anger, hatred, and violence towards others. Simone Weil puts it simply this way... “A hurtful act is the transference to others of the degradation which we bear in ourselves.”

We also see many examples of people who have endured horrible suffering and yet who have found ways to transform their pain and affliction into wisdom and grace. Elie Wiesel, holocaust survivor…

“I have learned two lessons in my life: first, there are no sufficient literary, psychological, or historical answers to human tragedy, only moral ones. Second, just as despair can come to one another only from other human beings, hope, too, can be given to one only by other human beings.”

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"Breathe in suffering...

...Breathe out compassion."

Rob; in Vancouver

“Although the world is full of suffering,

it is also full of the overcoming of it.”

Helen Keller

Sounds of Silence

Chemo Blues!

I've been struck down by a particular nasty reaction to chemo over this past week.  I'm finally up today after visit back to the hospital yesterday to receive fluids intravenously. 

One of the chemo drugs, Irinotecan, has diarrhea as a common side-effect.  I've had this chemo before and always handled it well with a little Imodium.  This time it was relentless and left me dehydrated and bed-ridden for 5 days!  My oncologist has said that I will not be receiving it again.  For which I am grateful.  He thought, and I concur, that the severe reaction was probably because of the previous radiation which had already left the bowels in a "distressed" state.

Next week I will just receive the one drug, Erbitux.  I may have others added down the road.  We'll see...

So... I am alive and well and will begin posting regularly again tomorrow.

TTFN... Rob; in Vancouver

"Yesterday I decided to go to the office.

I got as far as the bedroom door.

Chemo strikes."

Peter Jennings

Friday Update

Chemotherapy

I started my chemo program on Wednesday.  Suffering a little fatigue and nausea over the last couple of days.  Still waiting for some of the other side-effects to hit.  Over-all not too bad so far!  I'll have chemo every two weeks for the next 20 weeks or so.  I'd like to get a break at Christmas if possible.  We'll see.

Radiation
I had a visit with my radiation oncologist on Thursday.  He is happy with the outcome of the radiation and expects me to see continued benefits in that area.

PET Scan
The plan to have a PET Scan in Edmonton has fallen through.  I don't know the details but there were some financial/billing problems between the Alberta and BC.  No plans for this scan now.  I'll probably have one when my Chemo program is finished.  This does not concern me as I'm pretty sure there is no other cancer to be found.  I was looking forward to a trip to Edmonton though!   But I would not be travelling on Chemo anyways. 

That's all folks!!

Rob; in Vancouver

"The dream of wellness sustained me

throughout the reality of the treatment."

Vickie Girard

Metalstasis

I posted this a couple of years ago too.  It is pretty strange! I'm amazed by the new animation technology. I think they've really captured the spirit of cancer and chemo here!

I love it when this guy shaves! Great haircut too!

Enjoy... Rob

Chemo Plan - Finally!

Finally!  It starts!    Not that chemo is ever something that you WANT to do, it is good to be getting started.

I begin tomorrow with a program of Erbitux, the growth inhibitor I mentioned earlier, and Irinotecan, a chemotherapy drug I have taken twice before.  Both of these medicines will be administered by way of an intravenous infusion which I will receive at the North Vancouver Cancer Clinic.

This is how Erbitux works!

I'm familiar with the side-effects of Irinotecan,  nausea, severe diarrhea, suppression of the immune system (low white blood cells), and hair loss (sometimes).  Erbitux is known particularly for a nasty skin rash on the face, head, chest, shoulders, and back.  The trick with chemo is to manage the side-effects in such a way as to continue with the chemo program.

The plan is for me to receive these medicines once every two weeks for 20 weeks.  10 treatments in all.  If I am able to stick with it the treatments will be finished in mid-April.  It is a long program. 

Stay tuned for updates!

Rob; in Vancouver

"Yesterday I decided to go to the office.

I got as far as the bedroom door.

Chemo strikes."

Peter Jennings

Cancer 101