"Our soul must perform two duties. The one is that we must reverently wonder and be surprised. The other is that we must gently let go and let be." Julian of Norwich

...Cancer teaches both!!!

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

New CT Scan Results

I had my monthly visit with my Oncologist on Tuesday. Important for me were the results of the first CT Scan since the rectal/sacral recurrence was discovered in early September. There has been quite a change.

There is no evidence of the large soft tissue tumour that had been between the rectum and the sacrum (no evidence of soft tissue tumours at all!)  and there is significant evidence of bone growth and healing in the sacrum itself. We're unable to tell if there is still cancer in the sacrum.  There may well be.


I'm still experiencing pain in the sacrum/coccyx. Disconcerting as this is, it is not necessarily an indication that there is still cancer there. It is an indication that damage was done. Time will tell whether things are clear or not.

Klimo was very pleased. Needless to say we are pleased as well. While by no means "out of the woods", I think we can be cautiously optimistic.

In the meantime we will carry on with chemo...

That's all folks...  Rob; in Vancouver

“Life is short,and we do not have much time to gladden the hearts of those who travel the way with us. So let us be swift to love, and let us make haste to show kindness.”

Henri Amiel

Friday, January 15, 2010

Friday Update

I have been enjoying an extended post-holiday period of reading and relaxation and haven't posted for a long time.  Here's a short update.

Holiday Celebrations

Our Christmas and New Year's celebrations were wonderful.  Robyn and Brandon visited from Edmonton and my sister Beth and her partner Colin visited from New Brunswick for New Years.  I enjoyed good heath and moderate energy throughout the holidays.

We saw the New Year in with a great group of family and friends at the Sylvia Hotel.  Making it to midnight was a challenge but it really was a great party!


Kelly  -  Robyn
Morgan

Christmas greetings, family updates, New Year's photos, and "A Christmas Love Story" can be found on the "Pollock Family Christmas Blog", my 21st century response to the Christmas Card tradition.

On the Chemo Front...

Not much to report here.  I am still receiving Erbitux every two weeks.  Side effects, fatigue and rash, are mostly managable.  I think I'm on this regime until April.  There is really nothing more to say for now.

That's all folks... Rob; in Vancouver

"The object of a New Year is not that we should have a new year.
It is that we should have a new soul."
G. K. Chesterton

Friday, December 4, 2009

Friday Update

Chemo
I received my second dose of Erbitux on Wednesday.  The Irinotecan was dropped due to the severity of the side-effects.  It may be tried again later.  We will see.   As of today I am feeling fairly good so hope that this regime will be tolerable.  I do have the "Erbitux rash", an acne-like rash, on the chest, shoulders, back, face and scalp.  It itches and is a little unsightly but is otherwise managed well with lotion and antibiotics.  Moderate fatigue.

Christmas 2009
The Christmas boxes came up from storage last weekend so it is beginning to look a lot like Christmas around the condo.  Robyn will be home for Christmas, Brandon will be visiting, and my sister Beth and her friend Colin will be joining us from New Brunswick for New Years!  Yeah!  I'm already filled with the Christmas spirit! 


Pollock Family Christmas Blog
Last year I started a "Christmas Blog" in lieu of Christmas cards (which I always found too difficult to fit in with the busy Advent/Christmas church scene).  It was a lot of fun so I invite you to visit there from time-to-time during the season.  Pollock Family Christmas

Be well... Rob; in Vancouver

"The message of Christmas is that the visible material world is bound to the invisible spiritual world."
Author Unknown

Here Comes Santa Claus


Monday, November 30, 2009

Choices in Healing

Michael Lerner is the author of “Choices in Healing: Integrating the Best of Conventional and Complementary Approaches to Cancer” (availble to read online). He's one of our leading thinkers when it comes to integrated cancer treatment. Here's what he would do if he faced a cancer diagnosis, in his own words…

  • “I would give careful thought to choosing a mainstream oncologist. I wouldn’t need someone with wonderful empathic skills--I’m fortunate to have other people in my life who provide that. But I would want a doctor who was basically kind, and on top of the medical literature regarding my disease. I would look for a doctor who was willing to take the time to answer my questions, and who supported my commitment to be deeply involved in my treatment decisions, and my commitment to complementary therapies. Finally, I would want a doctor who would stick with me medically and emotionally if recovery were not possible and I faced death.
  • I would use mainstream therapies that offered a real chance for recovery, but I would probably not use experimental therapies or therapies with a low probability of success that were highly toxic or compromised my capacity to live and, if it came to that, die as I chose.
  • I would use complementary therapies. I would look for a good support group and a psychotherapist experienced in working with people with cancer. I’ve been a vegetarian for many years, but I would look for ways to enhance my nutrition. I would meditate and practice yoga more often, and spend more time in Nature, taking walks in the woods, by the ocean, and in the mountains.
  • I would definitely use traditional Chinese medicine, both herbs and acupuncture.
  • I would strive for life, for recovery, with every possible tool and resource I could find. But if recovery were not possible, I would also work to face death in a way that deepened my growth and led to some resolution of my life and relationships.
  • I would pay a great deal of attention to the inner healing process that I hope a cancer diagnosis would trigger in me. I would give careful thought to the meaning of my life, what I had to let go of, and what I wanted to keep.
  • I would spend time with the people I value, and with books, writing, music, and my own vision of God. I would do everything I could do that I didn’t want to leave undone. I would not waste time with old obligations, though I would try to extricate myself from them decently.
  • I would try to live my own life my own way. I would try to accept the pain and sorrow inherent in my situation, but I would also look searchingly for the beauty, wisdom, and joy."
Well said Michael!!

TTFN... Rob; in Vancouver

"Everyone has a doctor in him or her; we just have to help it in its work. The natural healing force within each one of us is the greatest force in getting well. Our food should be our medicine. Our medicine should be our food."
Hippocrates

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Michael Lerner on Healing


Friday, November 27, 2009

On Suffering

Life is “dukkha”! Life is suffering! Herein lies the first noble truth in the Buddhist worldview. To live is to experience some manner of suffering.

Most of the world’s great philosophical and religious traditions attempt to deal with the reality of suffering and the many questions it raises. What causes suffering? How can we make sense of it? How do we overcome it, transcend it, or at least live with grace in the face of it?
“What is the noble truth of suffering? Birth is suffering, aging is suffering and sorrow and lamentation, pain, grief and despair are suffering.” Buddha

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Suffering has many faces; physical pain, illness, cancer, aging, and death; the individual or collective experience of violence, oppression, social injustice and inequality; stress and conflict in relationships, grief at the loss of a loved one, and anguish in parenting; unfulfilled dreams and expectations. Take your pick. The experience of some form of suffering in our lives is inescapable, try as we might to avoid it.

Franciscan priest and teacher, Richard Rohr, has said that one of the common denominators in all human suffering is the experience that we are powerless; we have been overwhelmed by circumstances and events beyond our power to control. The ancient psalms of lament often expressed this with words like... “I sink in deep mire where there is no foothold. I have come into deep waters, and the flood sweeps over me…”

One of the other thoughts that Richard shares about pain and suffering is… “In many ways, spirituality is about what we do with our pain. And the truth is, if we don't transform it, we will transmit it.” What Richard speaks of, and what we’ve all seen on many occasions, is the unresolved grief and pain of an individual, or of a group, transmitted through acts of anger, hatred, and violence towards others. Simone Weil puts it simply this way... “A hurtful act is the transference to others of the degradation which we bear in ourselves.”

We also see many examples of people who have endured horrible suffering and yet who have found ways to transform their pain and affliction into wisdom and grace. Elie Wiesel, holocaust survivor…
“I have learned two lessons in my life: first, there are no sufficient literary, psychological, or historical answers to human tragedy, only moral ones. Second, just as despair can come to one another only from other human beings, hope, too, can be given to one only by other human beings.”
----------------
"Breathe in suffering...
...Breathe out compassion."

Rob; in Vancouver

“Although the world is full of suffering,
it is also full of the overcoming of it.”
Helen Keller

Sounds of Silence


Thursday, November 26, 2009

Chemo Blues!


I've been struck down by a particular nasty reaction to chemo over this past week.  I'm finally up today after visit back to the hospital yesterday to receive fluids intravenously. 

One of the chemo drugs, Irinotecan, has diarrhea as a common side-effect.  I've had this chemo before and always handled it well with a little Imodium.  This time it was relentless and left me dehydrated and bed-ridden for 5 days!  My oncologist has said that I will not be receiving it again.  For which I am grateful.  He thought, and I concur, that the severe reaction was probably because of the previous radiation which had already left the bowels in a "distressed" state.

Next week I will just receive the one drug, Erbitux.  I may have others added down the road.  We'll see...

So... I am alive and well and will begin posting regularly again tomorrow.

TTFN... Rob; in Vancouver

"Yesterday I decided to go to the office.
I got as far as the bedroom door.
Chemo strikes."
Peter Jennings

Friday, November 20, 2009

Friday Update



Chemotherapy
I started my chemo program on Wednesday.  Suffering a little fatigue and nausea over the last couple of days.  Still waiting for some of the other side-effects to hit.  Over-all not too bad so far!  I'll have chemo every two weeks for the next 20 weeks or so.  I'd like to get a break at Christmas if possible.  We'll see.

Radiation
I had a visit with my radiation oncologist on Thursday.  He is happy with the outcome of the radiation and expects me to see continued benefits in that area.

PET Scan
The plan to have a PET Scan in Edmonton has fallen through.  I don't know the details but there were some financial/billing problems between the Alberta and BC.  No plans for this scan now.  I'll probably have one when my Chemo program is finished.  This does not concern me as I'm pretty sure there is no other cancer to be found.  I was looking forward to a trip to Edmonton though!   But I would not be travelling on Chemo anyways. 

That's all folks!!

Rob; in Vancouver

"The dream of wellness sustained me
throughout the reality of the treatment."
Vickie Girard

Metalstasis



I posted this a couple of years ago too.  It is pretty strange! I'm amazed by the new animation technology. I think they've really captured the spirit of cancer and chemo here!

I love it when this guy shaves! Great haircut too!

Enjoy... Rob