"Living Well With Cancer"

In April 2003, I gathered with an eclectic community of Christians and Sufi Muslims for a workshop under the leadership of American Sufi Shaikh, Kabir Helminski. Kabir is of the Mevlevi Order, a Sufi tradition tracing its roots to the 13th century Persian poet Rumi. During one lecture Kabir shared a short outline of “5 Spiritual Principles to Live By”.

I was struck by the simplicity of the principles and by the commonality they held with other faith traditions, including my own. Helminski’s 5 principles are:

1. Commit to Your Highest Possibility

2. Awaken Attentiveness and Appreciation

3. Cultivate a Spirit of Gratitude

4. Find the Still Point and

5. Radiate Blessing

Since being diagnosed, I have noticed how many cancer survivors have undergone personal transformations in line with these principles. The result is lives lived with a renewed sense of purpose and a richer appreciation for what is important. Many survivors speak of a deeper authenticity and honesty in their relationships and of a gentler pace of life, with more time spent “smelling the roses”.

I've reflected a little on each of these principles and present them here again as a summary. While I can’t do them justice in this short piece, I do hope that what I offer provides a faithful summary of “Helminski’s Principles” and a worthwhile basis for folks to reflect spiritually on “Living Well With Cancer”.

Be well... Rob; in Vancouver

...next: "Commit to Your Highest Possibility"

Commit to Your Highest Possibility

“I want my will to live to be strong. I want to get as much time out of this as possible. And so I need to work at that with complete focus and dedication and clarity and concentration, and right effort." Treya Killam Wilber

Committing to our highest possibility is about life's purpose and intention. It is to choose LIFE, even in the very imminent face of death itself. It is, for some, “to discover and fulfill their destiny”. It is, for others, “to become who God intended them to be”.

Committing our highest possibility is to live each moment to its fullest. It is to exercise our power of choice towards what is life-giving in the current situation. This universal theme is proclaimed in cultures around the world. The Latin expression Carpe Diem implores us to “seize the day”… for tomorrow we may die. The Japanese have a term, Ichi Nichi, Issho, “one day, one lifetime”, which reminds us to live each day as if our whole life is summed up in it.

I have come to believe that a healthy awareness of the “proximity of death” can lead us to living with a deeper commitment to our highest possibility. Often this means identifying and letting go of the things that are inhibiting us. Too often our lives are clogged and cluttered with the trivial and meaningless. We become limited by “false identities”, we are plagued by fear and anxiety, and we suffer cravings, addictions, and aversions. It’s amazing how quickly we can see and name this stuff for what it is when we become more acutely aware of our mortality. Once we’ve named that which binds us, we can begin the process of relinquishing it and turning towards what gives life.

Sometimes in the cancer journey the highest possibility is directed totally towards our own health and healing. That’s just the way it is. I’ve had to give over huge chunks of my life to coping with surgery and chemo, and to self-care. It has to be recognized that sometimes the "highest possibility" is just getting out for a walk, having a nap, or having a little bite to eat. But sometimes... it is much, much more!

Committing to our highest possibility is a deeply personal matter. It means being true to ourselves in terms of “who we are”, “why we’re here”, and “where we’re going”. It involves discernment in discovering what is important in our lives and how to respond to it. It entails courage and integrity to allow ourselves to be defined by our core values and our "essential self" rather than by the “cookie cutter” identities our culture seeks to impose on us by our roles, occupations, possessions, or physical attributes and deficits.

Living with cancer can help to clarify the vision of our lives, allow us to realize untapped possibilities, free us to live more richly, and to love more deeply… may it be so.

Rob; in Vancouver

“All of us have been dying, hour by hour, since the moment we were born. Realizing this, let all things be placed in their proper perspective… Remember, it is always later than you think. Og Mandino

...next: "Awaken Attentiveness and Appreciation"

Awaken Attentiveness and Appreciation

When the Buddha started to wander around India shortly after his enlightenment, he encountered several men who recognized him to be a very extraordinary being.
They asked him, "Are you a god?"
"No," he replied.
"Are you a reincarnation of god?"
"No," he replied.
"Are you a wizard, then?" "No."
"Well, are you a man?" "No."
"So what are you?" they asked,
being very perplexed.

"I am awake."

To awaken attentiveness and appreciation is to enter in to the realm of “mindfulness”. It is about being intentionally aware of thoughts and actions in the present moment. It is also about seeing deeply into the nature of things and perceiving and appreciating the connections that exist between all things. I see this happening at an “inner level” as we become more conscious of our mind/body processes, and at an “outer level”, as we develop the “ecological imagination” needed to see our relationship with the environment that surrounds us. These are not separate processes and both are important towards seeing the connections between our mind, body, and the world in which we live and breathe.

Mindfulness figures prominently in new approaches to stress reduction and healing as developed by Jon Kabat-Zinn at the University of Massachussetts Medical Center. The application of mindfulness in stress reduction is well covered in Kabat-Zinn’s book “Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain and Illness”. Kabat-Zinn defines mindfulness as:

“…moment to moment awareness. It is cultivated by purposefully paying attention to things we ordinarily never give a moments thought to. It is a systematic approach to developing new kinds of control and wisdom in our lives, based on our inner capacities for relaxation, paying attention, awareness, and insight.”

Kabat-Zinn describes our usually encumbered minds as often preoccupied with regrets over the past and worry and anxiety over the future. This can be particularly true when we are suffering an illness such as cancer. Our minds become literally flooded with worries, fears, fantasies, and plans related to our diagnosis, treatments, and the possible course of the disease. The result is that we live in a state of unawareness, or un-mindfulness.

“When unawareness dominates the mind, all our decisions and actions are affected by it. Unawareness can keep us from being in touch with our own body, its signals and its messages. This in turn can create many physical problems for us, problems we don’t even know we are generating ourselves. And living in a chronic state of unawareness can cause us to miss much of what is most beautiful and meaningful in our lives.” Jon Kabat-Zinn

Awakening attentiveness and appreciation involves a discipline, or practice, of clearing our minds and bringing our attention to where it is needed, beginning with our breath. Mindfulness meditation, a practice that derives from the Buddhist tradition, is used to develop a deeper and more focused capacity for awareness and attention.

Awakening attentiveness allows us to enter into a deeper level of self awareness about our mind/body, its relationship to the environment, and its healing needs. It also leads us to places of profound awe and wonder as we begin to appreciate anew the incredible miracle of creation and life.

Rob; mostly napping; in Vancouver

“Mindfulness is the aware, balanced acceptance of the present experience. It isn't more complicated that that. It is opening to or receiving the present moment, pleasant or unpleasant, just as it is, without either clinging to it or rejecting it.” Sylvia Boorstein

...next: "Cultivate a Spirit of Gratitude"

Cultivate a Spirit of Gratitude

“Gratitude is not only
the greatest of virtues,

but the parent of all the others.”

Cicero

------------------------

An “attitude of gratitude” emerges naturally when we’ve taken the time to be attentive to, and appreciative of, life’s many gifts and blessings. Even in the midst of illness or trial, the heart responds with gratitude to gifts that embody love and blessing.

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” Melody Beattie

---------------------

For me, the practice of gratitude begins with this little lump of clay, my body… this incredible creation of earth, wind, water, and fire! Plagued, scarred, and diseased as it may be, it is still an awesome miracle in all of its mid-life glory!

“Real life isn't always going to be perfect or go our way, but the recurring acknowledgement of what is working in our lives can help us not only to survive but surmount our difficulties.”

Sara Ban Breathnach

I Give thanks for the gift of this day and for all of the possibility and potential it holds. I give thanks for the incredible blessing of love I have through family and friends and for the generosity and compassion of my church community.

I give thanks for the skill and the knowledge of my doctors, nurses and medical technicians; for the technology that makes cancer more treatable every day; and for a medical system in which access to care isn’t based on an ability to pay! I give thanks for the tears and the laughter that make life bearable even when the challenges of the day seem unbearable.

I give thanks for the patience, the humour, the strength, the wisdom, and the grace that are needed to face this journey afresh each day. In all these things, and so much more, I am richly blessed!

With thanks… Rob; in Vancouver

“A sacred illness is one that educates us and alters us from the inside out, provides experiences and therefore knowledge that we could not possibly achieve in any other way, and aligns us with a life path that is, ultimately, of benefit to ourselves and those around us.”

Deena Metzger

...next: "Find the Still Point"

Find the Still Point

"Come and find the quiet center
in the crowded life we lead,
find the room for hope to enter,
find the frame where we are freed:
clear the chaos and the clutter,
clear our eyes, that we can see
all the things that really matter,
be at peace, and simply be."
Shirley Erena Murray


Our body and soul need times of quiet and rest to be whole and healthy. If this is true in our times of health… how much more so in times of healing and recovery! Finding the still point is about finding those quiet moments and places of stillness where we can regain a sense of equilibrium and help to create conditions more favourable to healing.

“Discontent creates a flurry of distraction in the mind. Worry, anxiety, doubt are just a few of the conflicting emotions that arise to erode my self-confidence. Focusing upon what is true offers me the opportunity to change my circumstances.” Sylvia Boorstein

Cancer came into my life with all manner of tyranny! Physical pain and bodily dysfunction; endless tests, scans, and appointments; relentless treatment schedules and debilitating side-effects; and a never-ending treadmill of anxious emotions and thoughts put cancer in the swirling center of a life that no longer seemed my own. Finding the “still point” in this vortex of crisis has been, and remains, an ongoing challenge.

“In the sweet territory of silence we touch the mystery. It's the place of reflection and contemplation, and it's the place where we can connect with the deep knowing, to the deep wisdom way.” Angeles Arrien

It is in times like this that I really appreciate the gifts that my faith tradition has provided. Particularly in its emphasis on Sabbath rest and in the many traditions it offers in the way of prayer and contemplation. Activities which have helped me to find the “still point”, time and time again, have included prayer and meditation, tai chi, healing touch, worship, long walks in the forest and along the seashore, reading and journaling, playing the guitar, and listening to music. I’ve enjoyed these activities both in solitude and in the company of friends and mentors.

Finding the “still point” grounds me in the landscape of God’s living presence and reminds me that all shall be well. Yah…

Deep peace to you... Rob

"There is no need to go to India or anywhere else to find peace. You will find that deep place of silence right in your room, your garden, or even your bathtub." Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

... next: "Radiate Blessing"

Radiate Blessing

“Blessing is a relationship between equals. When you bless others— you realize that your life matters. The people you bless can make you immortal."

Rachel Naomi Remen

---------------------

Blessing has to do with the richness and abundance of life. To be blessed is to be “full of life” in all of its wonder and grace. To bless another is to enrich their lives with gifts of goodness, truth, or beauty. The call to “radiate blessing” is a summons to let our gratitude spill over into generosity. Radiating our blessing may take the form of compassionate action or service towards another. It may be a sharing of knowledge, experience or wisdom. Or it could be a joining with others in seeking peace, justice or healing.

Dr. Rachel Naomi Remen is a leader in the realm of “integrative medicine” and author of “Kitchen Table Wisdom” and “My Grandfather’s Blessing” http://www.rachelremen.com/. Her thoughts on “blessing” are some of the most inspiring I’ve read. A sampling…

“A woman once told me that she did not feel the need to reach out to those around her because she prayed every day. Surely, this was enough. But a prayer is about our relationship to God; a blessing is about our relationship to the spark of God in one another. God may not need our attention as badly as the person next to us on the bus or behind us in line in the supermarket. Everyone in the world matters, and so do their blessings. When we bless others, we offer them refuge from an indifferent world.”

 "We bless the life around us far more than we realize. Many simple, ordinary things that we do can affect those around us in profound ways: the unexpected phone call, the brief touch, the willingness to listen generously, the warm smile or wink of recognition. All it may take to restore someone's trust in life may be returning a lost earring or a dropped glove."

So there you have it. "Commit to the highest possibility"; "awaken attentiveness and appreciation"; "cultivate a spirit of gratitude"; "find the still point"; and "radiate blessing". Living fully, with or without cancer, is as simple, and as difficult, as that!

Peace and Blessings… Rob; in Vancouver


"I expect to pass through this world but once. Any good therefore that I can do, or any kindness that I can show to a fellow creature, let me do it now. Let me not defer or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again." Stephen Grellet